Pain

I normally suffer a degree of pain in my neck and back constantly, but yesterday and today I have been experiencing a LOT of pain in my back and neck. It has been awful and stressful. At times I wonder why? Why does the Lord allow me to suffer like this? Why do I have this pain which makes it hard for me to serve my family?

I don't know, but years earlier, I can honestly say that I didn't really understand others that were in chronic pain. I just thought they needed to deal with it and move on. I wasn't very compassionate. But now having suffered this I understand. When you are in chronic pain there are times that you cannot function the way that you want and need to. This affects you in many ways. You get discouraged because you can't do things and you are embarrassed knowing that others don't really understand and they judge you despite not wanting to. You are exhausted by simple things and that is frustrating. You tend to get crabby and you have to fight it constantly so that you can truly love your family.

But as I look at the Word and see Paul's life I can understand that the Lord does have a purpose in my suffering. Whether it is to keep me humble or for some other purpose, I can rejoice in knowing that He has a plan and He is in control.

Here are the verses that have blessed my heart today:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

So, I am not to the place where I rejoice in my weakness, I am still pleading with the Lord to take it from me, I know that He will bring me to a place of peace. And I know the direction I must choose if the Lord chooses to use me to reveal His power in my weakness.

So, there is a purpose in my suffering and in that I can rejoice. And my suffering turns my eyes to Him and helps me to keep my eyes on Him because He is where my help comes from.

Starting Weight: 186
Current Weight: 185
Goal Weight: 135