Marriage

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[b] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33

This is an interesting passage of scripture. It is used for so much. It clearly teaches men how they are to love their wives and shows women how they are to be loved. It also teaches women what their men NEED. Our men need our respect. Whether they be successful businessmen, or a clerk at McDonald's, they need to know that we respect them. This can sometimes be very difficult particularly if you happen to be in a season of picking at your partner. You know those seasons? The ones where you see all of your spouses flaws and wonder how you got where you are? You know the seasons where you seem to focus more on the fact that your wonderful man isn't following the verses above in the way you think is right? These seasons hit us throughout our lives, and it is how we weather the storms in them that determines the fate of our marriage.

My husband is going through some things lately, it feels like it's been forever to me, and it has pulled him into himself. This is bad for me and the children, but how I deal with it is the key to our marriage. You see that is not the only passage of scripture on marriage in the bible. There are many verses on how we are to love others and interact in relationships. I can wallow in pity and gripe at my husband complaining to him that he is not loving me correctly, and that he needs to do this or that or the other thing. Or I can pray for him, and love him where he is at. I can respect him with my submissive heart and I can praise him to my children when he is in earshot. I can stand by him, which communicates the I trust and respect him.

And these verses also do something else for us as women. They validate our feelings. For instance, I have felt somewhat unloved during this difficult time for my husband. I know that I am loved, but I haven't felt it. But, I have felt guilty being honest about it because my husband works hard to support our family so I felt like what more could I ask. But that is not really being honest to myself or God in my prayers. This verse gives me the freedom to acknowledge that I can expect more when it says, "he feeds and cares for it". The feeding is working to provide, the caring is all the little things that tell a woman that she is loved. They are all those little extras that every woman instinctively knows, and that men forget how to do off and on. But these verses this morning have given me the freedom to come before God with my tired heart and share without feeling like I am being a whiner. But the next step after releasing my burdens to the Lord is to love my husband. To respect my husband and not to worry about what I am getting back. The Lord will work in my husband, I need not nag or become bitter to him. I just need to love and respect him, and with my burdens released to the Lord, I can. I can develop the sweet spirit that is pleasing to the Lord. Yes, this passage has a lot to offer!