Am I Really?
On my other blog, Spunky made a very nice comment about me being a sweetie. I felt great when I read that, and thought to myself, "I guess I am." But then I kept thinking. You know this verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phillipians 4:8
I realized as I was thinking that I don't always do that. Sometimes I am not nice at all. There is a particular woman in my life that will remain unnamed, that I admire, and yet am not nice about. I am jealous (awful I know), so when she comes up I have been known to throw in carefully worded statements that are not nice, but don't come off as totally mean either. Of course other times, I am just not nice. Why do I say these things? Because I can never become as wonderful as I perceive her to be. She is just one of those people that excels at most things. I do well on some things and limp along in many. So in the wickedness of my heart I am NOT nice. She would never know, because I would never say anything to her face, which is worse. There is nothing wrong with her, she is a very nice person. It's all me.
Am I thinking about whatever is praiseworthy if I am trying to tear down anything praiseworthy about her? No. Of course I know the only true praiseworthy being is our Lord Jesus, but by twisting the noble things I am not doing that. I should be rejoicing with her, not focusing on me.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15
All this to say that I don't really think I am a sweetie. It feels good to think so, but in my heart where I see the darkest depths, I know I am not. I need to do some cleaning in my heart today and tommorrow and for the next lifetime. I need to come before the Lord and ask forgiveness for my sin. I need to repent and turn away from this sin. I need to learn to rejoice in the wonderful person that God has made her to be. And maybe someday I truly will be a sweetie.
posted by Dee @ 8:30 PM
3 Comments:
How convicting... once again.
I once had a woman like that in my life and I would say things at home like, "I just will NEVER be like her." Later, (now we are great friends) I found out that she says the same thing about me at home.
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and I thank God that he does not expect me to be more energetic like so-and-so or more soft spoken like whats-her-name or more organized like Mrs. Wonderful from the perfect neighborhood... God only requires me to be the woman He created ME to be! And that is hard enough without complicating it! :)
p.s. I think you are "nice"! We all have a ways to go and you, my dear friend, are certainly headed in a Godly direction!
It's funny, but my husband David was talking to this particular woman's husband today and they had a nice chat. While they were chatting I heard him talking about the remedy for kitchen gnats because they were also having a problem with them. And here I thought I was the only one being driven crazy by gnats! It appears Perfect Penelope has been invaded by them too! I had to laugh as I thought of this post. And I got to practice blessing her instead of my normal unloving attitude!
God does answer prayers AND He has a sense of humor!
Maybe when others think/say we are sweeties it is Christ they are seeing through us! I know at bottom that my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked --therefore any good must be from Him!!! So maybe you can say--thank you, sometimes I am quite a sweetie and other times hmmmm not quite! LOL
Lyn
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